The word tool is funny. It changes it’s meaning with the tone it is said with. In the statement, “He is such a tool”, you can infer two different meanings based off of tone. In some cases, we are talking about the meat-headed jerks that disrespect everyone and tend to make a huge mess of things. This “tool” is self absorbed and feels that he is Gods gift and is always the ALPHA mail. In another since, the “tool” is an instrument designed for a specific purpose and is a key factor in completing a larger, more important task. This “tool” is good and one to be admired.
I find that in my not-so-glamorous-minisrty I tend to walk lazily between these two terms. I find myself on a path where God is center and He is able to wield my life like a precision tool. I am simply holding on to the hand that is grasping me as He does the work He has purposed to do. Then there are days when the tool really becomes a “tool”. Having been used and wielded in many awesome ways, the tool feels boastful of the work the hand performed.
I have been at my new church home for just over a month. We are just past the “glass tapping” phase of our time in the new fish bowl. (if you are unsure what this means, please read my wife’s blog) Now I am being reminded that their are mountains and obstacles that we must overcome. These “challenges” are not what you would think. They have nothing to do with where we serve or what we face. The obstacle is the enormity of the job and the tool doing it. The truth is, there are several teenagers who have been in a ministry for a long time and have seen leader after leader come and go. They need something specific. They need more Jesus…more meat. They deserve my every effort to build a relationship with them before they leave next year. They deserve a leader who wants to invest in them. Not that they haven’t had that before, but they need to know they have that now. They need to know they have a couple who cares about them after graduation.
On the other hand, the future of this ministry is going to be in the growth of the younger attendees. They will ultimately spend more time with us and see in 3 years that we have no intention of going anywhere. They will trust us. In 24 months, they will know this program and live the culture. They would have more chances to get to know us and we would have been there through more “big” things in their lives. Ultimately, some of them will not remember or have known anything else. To apply focus and attention there is to invest in a future group of disciplers.
I am being reminded how much I need the Holy Spirit right now. I have two groups who both need something extremely specific and I am in no way capable of organizing the program that will give them both what they need. I wonder how we where able to meet these needs before. How our past efforts in growing ministries have been so successful. Truth is, they haven’t always been. We had seasons of extreme growth and moments of lag.
I guess I am always being a tool. Just a different tone to that title at times. Right now today, I am praying that I can be His tool that He wields to supernaturally meet the needs of this group of teens that is at a very tender stage. That He directs this tool’s every move and every decision over the course of the next few years. I pray that I wont have moments of self reliance and arrogance proving myself to simply be a “tool”. I want it to be clear now, that what ever success we see in this new YM is because He has been successful. I’m just a tool…His tool…a mediator..a facilitator of His will.
There is a mountain of work to do and lives that need nurture and attention. There is a ministry that needs wise choices for the continued growth of the future and for the right now. The best part is, even though I am in charge, I am NOT in charge. If there are any readers to this blog at all,(doubt it, still…) please pray for this ministry in transition. Pray that they can be confident in God’s ability to meet the needs. Pray that they learn to trust Beth and I. Pray that I stay His tool and don’t just become a tool.
De Colores my friends.